If you’ve tried online dating anytime in the last few years, chances are you’ve had at least one of these moments: you’re mid-conversation with someone who seemed cool… and suddenly they vanish. No goodbye, no explanation. Or maybe you match with five people in a week, but none of the chats go beyond “Hey.”
Sound familiar?
You’re not imagining it. Dating—especially online—has become this weird combination of exciting and exhausting. We have access to thousands of people at our fingertips, yet meaningful conversations feel harder to come by. And that’s why more people are starting to rethink the apps they use and how they date altogether.
I recently came across dating through a friend who got tired of swiping and decided to try something that felt a little more intentional. No flashy gimmicks. No pressure to be perfect. Just a space where people show up to actually talk. And honestly? That small shift made a big difference.
When Did Dating Get So Complicated?
It used to be that if you were single, you’d meet people through friends, work, or maybe a local event. Nowadays, it feels like everyone’s behind a screen. We swipe more than we speak. And half the time, we’re wondering if the person on the other end is even real.
There’s this pressure to be entertaining, clever, photogenic—all at once. But love isn’t a performance. It’s a connection. And more people are craving that again.
A recent article in The Washington Post touched on how people are getting burned out by dating apps. The numbers, the matches, the ghosting—it adds up. What was supposed to make dating easier has made it feel like work.
The Appeal of Slowing Down
Let’s be honest—there’s nothing wrong with using dating apps. But when they start to feel like you’re collecting matches rather than meeting people, something’s off.
What I liked about Dating.com is that it doesn’t rush you. There’s no endless scrolling. You read a profile. You message someone. You talk. It’s not about who looks best in a selfie—it’s about who you actually connect with.
And maybe it’s just me, but when someone takes the time to write a full profile or actually asks something thoughtful instead of “WYD,” it’s refreshing.
It’s Not Just About Love—It’s About Feeling Seen
Here’s the thing a lot of people won’t say out loud: online dating can feel really lonely, especially if you’re from a background that doesn’t show up much in the usual algorithm-driven apps. If you’re Black, Latino, Asian—or just outside the typical “norm”—you’ve probably noticed the lack of representation or the weird biases.
But with a more global platform like Dating.com, it’s different. People from all over the world are using it, and not in a “fetish-y” way—more like, “Hey, we’re here, and we’re people first.” That matters. That changes how you show up. You don’t have to code-switch or explain your entire background in the first three messages. You just get to be you.
What People Actually Want (Spoiler: It’s Not Just Looks)
You know what’s wild? When you really talk to people about what they want, most don’t say “six-pack” or “model looks.” They say stuff like “someone who listens,” or “someone I can laugh with,” or “someone who won’t ghost me after two good dates.”
That’s the real stuff. The stuff that sticks.
And the right platform makes it easier to find that—not by promising “the one” in a week, but by making space for real conversations. For meeting someone who asks how your day really was. For giving you tools to connect, like video chat or real-time messaging, without feeling like it’s a social media popularity contest.
If You’re Feeling Burned Out, Try This
Dating online doesn’t have to feel like work. But you might need to change how you approach it. Here’s what helped me:
- Don’t rush the profile. Write something that actually sounds like you. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just be honest.
- Ask real questions. Skip the “Hey” and try “What’s something random that always makes you laugh?” or “What’s your perfect Sunday?” You’ll get better answers.
- Use video chat. Yeah, I know—it’s a little nerve-wracking. But it’s also a time-saver. You’ll know real quick if there’s chemistry.
- Set boundaries. If you’re not feeling it, say so. If someone’s flaky, move on. Protect your energy.
Dating Is Still Worth It—Even If It’s Messy
There’s no perfect formula. Some connections fizzle. Some conversations go nowhere. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong—it just means you’re human.
But when it does click? When you find someone who gets your jokes, or asks about that little detail you mentioned earlier, or remembers your dog’s name—that’s when all the effort feels worth it.
You realize, “Oh. This is what it’s supposed to be.”
Final Thought
We’ve been sold this idea that love has to be instant. That if you don’t feel sparks immediately, it’s not worth it. But the best relationships often grow slowly. They come from curiosity, kindness, and a willingness to show up.
So if you’re done chasing empty conversations or wondering if dating is even worth it anymore, maybe it’s time to change how—and where—you’re looking.
Platforms like dating aren’t magic, but they are built with intention. And sometimes, that’s all you need—a place where showing up as yourself is enough.
You might be surprised by what happens when you stop swiping and start connecting.
